My first day of school.

Have you ever felt like you just don't fit in or you were not welcome somewhere? I would soon come to understand that being half Okinawan and half American was not going to be easy for me growing up.

I learned the meaning of racism the first week of school. What an odd thing to learn in my first week. This would come to be a very important lesson to have learned, especially at such a young age. I am half Okinawan and Half American. (My mother tells me there is a difference between Okinawan and Japanese, but I will use the term Japanese from now on in case someone is not familiar with Okinawa.) Not an unusual combination but one that is not accepted among either cultures as normal.

I went to a school that had mostly Japanese students and a few American students. The language spoken was a mixture of Japanese and English. Mostly, Japanese was spoken and English was spoken to the American children. I know the teacher hated having to repeat everything in English. I could hear it in thier voices as if it were like they were saying "I am disgusted that I have to repeat this in English....You should know Japanese so I don't have to repeat myself." I was glad that grandma and Reiko had taken the time to teach me the language. I could understand most of what the teachers were saying and did not have to ask them to repeat their comments. This pleased the teachers sometimes but still they knew I was only half Japanese. The kids would tease me in Japanese and make fun of me. The teachers knew this but did nothing. Both the Americans and the Japanese had a good time at my expense. I did not know where I fit in. It was a very trying time in my life and very confusing.

The first couple of days of school, I did not say anything to my mother about what was going on in school. I was still trying to figure out why the American and the Japanese students would give me a hard time and push me around. This is not at all what I thought school was going to be like. My mother knew something was wrong. She confronted me that weekend to inquire why I was so quiet about school and why I did not talk much about it or if I had made any new friends. I had no idea how to respond. I did not think my mother would understand.

I felt very lost and alone but as luck would have it, I had family who cared. Reiko cornered me and asked what was wrong. I did not know if she would understand. I guess my mom was intent on finding out what was going on with me. She asked Reiko to speak to me and find out what was going on. After a long walk and a few tears, I had finallly spilled everything to Reiko what had been taking place at school. She consoled me and told me everything is going to be OK. I begged her not to tell my mom for fear of her going down to the school and embarrassing me.

She was true to her word. She just told my mom that it was an adjustment period that all kids go through. The following week, Hidoyuki got out of school early and came to my school. I was shocked to see him there. He hung out with me at lunch and wanted for me to point out the kids that were bullying me around. Hidoyuki went up to each and every one of them and said something I was not privileged to hear. It must have been very threatening, because after that, the Japanese children did not bother me. Reiko later told me that he threatened to tell their parents if they did not back off. To dishonor one's parents is VERY disrespectful and could cause them more trouble then the kids could ever imagine. I was still learning the ways of the Japanese culture, so for me this was a huge relief and the foundation for learning the meaning of the word HONOR! I am so very proud of having been born from my mother....if only she had married an Okinawan man....hhhhmmmm.

Life at school wasn't so bad after that day. It was enjoyable to a point, but the American kids were not so easy to get along with. I just stayed clear of them the rest of the year and befriended the other Japanese students. My Japanese was getting much better and I had mastered the Okinawan dialect so that you could not really tell I was half American. I had made Mamasan very proud. Unfortunately, we would be moving back to the states at the end of the school year and I would be in for another rude awakening. Ugh!